Good morning from Yerevan. Another sunny day with some clouds expected. I had hoped to go Paragliding but haven't heard if the trip is on. Yesterday was canceled due to weather. So next week. Instead I'll join Tammy and Heidi for another Gorge walk.
Work is more hectic but also better. Things are heating up; the status quo is shifting; people are complaining, we have a much longer patient problem list and longer patient care meetings. For me that's all a good sign. Things were just too "fine" before. Patients were all doing well yet 25% were defaulting. Welcome to the mess! I don't welcome the next evaluation, and written warning to happen on Monday. It's necessary though and part of getting things off the dime here. I am seeing "Dossiers" on the computer so some may choose to leave on their own.
Last night there was a report on Euronews about Haiti that focused on MSF work there. Good piece.
Bye for now.
Jean
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
105 degrees
Hi everyone,
Quick check in from Armenia.
The training team has returned to Paris, except for one and he leaves today. "Thank God and Air France......" It's been good weather for lying low, sleeping and reading. No hikes for me this weekend. Instead I made some Ratoutouille(sp) Sat an.d a peach pie Sunday for those who did. Couldn't make it through the game last night so I am anxious to see if Spain or Netherlands won! Our TV is on the upper "deck" so it's cool but I gave in at 1am when they went into overtime. House is still full of guests...some left others came. So it goes.
Time for work. I am not sure if we start at 8 today or 9 as I heard via the grapevine that the time had changed. I'll try for 8:30.
Jean
Quick check in from Armenia.
The training team has returned to Paris, except for one and he leaves today. "Thank God and Air France......" It's been good weather for lying low, sleeping and reading. No hikes for me this weekend. Instead I made some Ratoutouille(sp) Sat an.d a peach pie Sunday for those who did. Couldn't make it through the game last night so I am anxious to see if Spain or Netherlands won! Our TV is on the upper "deck" so it's cool but I gave in at 1am when they went into overtime. House is still full of guests...some left others came. So it goes.
Time for work. I am not sure if we start at 8 today or 9 as I heard via the grapevine that the time had changed. I'll try for 8:30.
Jean
Friday, July 9, 2010
some sort of normality returning
Six am, hot coffee, and the sun rising next to the Noah's Ark monument (my name for it. It represents the leaf the dove brought to Noah to say there was dry land nearby). Whatever. It's a nice landmark.
Temps in the low 100's this week. That works for me and I haven't heard too much grumbling. Women feel happy to get their sundresses and sandals out. Men wear some pretty classy sandals too.
I awoke Thursday morning surprised to find myself standing there! My eyes filled with tears as I said "Hi Jean". It was like the "miracle question" used in therapy sometimes: " You go to bed. The next morning you awake and everything has changed. Things are better. How will you know that there was a miracle that night. What will be diferent?" Not quite like that but close. I felt well for the first time in weeks. Yahoo! Stressed, discouraged, depressed, demoralized, angry along with some physical stuff...gone.
This particular job, in this particular project, has been and will continue to be very difficult. We've just finished a 7 day training in counseling orchestrated by Paris. It was intense with long days going from 8:30 to 6:30 or 7. That's been part of the stress but also will be part of the solution. I've felt like Sisyphus with his rock. The training showed the staff what counseling IS and what we are wanting them to be doing. Whew! Lights went on for a few of them. They had lots of role plays for practice. It'll still be an uphill battle but at least we have a ledge now and the rock may not roll all the way back down. Unfortunately the older ones with 20 to 30 years in the psych field were the ones who didn't get it very well. And sadly they thought they did. Alas. Talk circulates about letting them go. Alas again. Team would be stronger but geeez. Unfortunately these folks went to school 30 to 40 years ago and don't have the advantage of conferences and such to keep updated. So they are in the old mold of: wear a lab coat, have a desk between you and the patient, remember to keep a professional distance, work with the psyche rather than the here and now, confront the patient and tell them what to do to solve the problem. So the "doctor" remains the primary person in the room. Of course we were trying to flip that to a patient centered approach. Alas again.
The other big work issue the past 2 weeks is that we DID let someone go. She was told the day before the training that she wasn't going and that her contract was not being renewed. Of course all hell broke loose there. She was totally undone, in denial, bargaining, etc. Long story I won't go in to it here. Her replacement was hired the same day and wee did a handover yesterday. Very awkward stuff. Too much drama and very time consuming.
So 5 weeks remain. There is still way too much to do but I feel like I have a focus at least.
On to more fun stuff. I've moved the computer to one of the decks so am now seeing Mt Ararat on one side and the city buildings on the other. It's noisy but cool. LOVE the netbook!
There's a summer weather thing in Yerevan that brings strong winds every evening. They are quite lovely actually and I slip into sleep easily.
There's been no shortage of entertainment activities this past two weesk. Sunday was a trip to Garni and a hike in the Garni Gorge. Very beautiful place. I am still having trouble downloading pics but recommend looking it up on-line. Basalt columns that are spectacular. We went with an MSF car that was taking some of the trainees on a tour the n ventured off on our own. While walking by the river on a dirt road an old blue dump truck came along. The driver was lost and looking for directions. Ha!We were friendly but no help as we didn't know where we were exactly either. Later that afternoon we were back in Garni and looking for the martchuka station for Yerevan and he passed us. He pulled over and offered us a ride. So we climbed up into the front seat which easily held four people and lumbered on. Very nice man. He stopped along the way to help another traveler who was out of gas and siphoned some of his off. We managed to communicate enough to learn where he was from, what he did for a living, and how many children he had using sign language. He dropped us near the metro, refusing any gas money of course. I am so impressed with the warmth, friendliness and hospitality of Armenians. They are so welcoming to strangers from other countries. I feel no fear from them and have no fear of them. It's a very safe place to keep getting lost in!
The week before we had been out hiking near Lake Sevan and 2 of us hitched a ride home with a large family in a van. 25 people stuffed in, grannies, babies, etc. My companion was Constance, a young gorgeous French woman which I am sure helped us get the ride! The ride was fun. The hike was not so pleasant but still an adventure. We got a bit lost getting from the road to the lake following locals finger pointing and walked through swamp after swamp up to our calves in oozing black sucking stinking muck. We looked a sight. No leaches or snakes however which was a good thing! Constance is maybe 5 feet tall and was shrieking....mostly "I hate you Luis". And those who know me well know that I am full steam ahead when I see a direction I want to go and will not detour or retreat, so stubbornly led the 4 of us directly through the swamp. Another adventure for the rocking chair stories.
In Yerevan there weere free tickets to a quintet playing Mozart and Shuman. My appreciation of this is coming up. It is so nice to just let go and sit there letting the music play me. The musicians were young, perhaps recent graduates of a music school and VERY good. This week was La Traviata at the opera house. Well done in an amingly beautiful setting. The opera was followed by watching the Germany/Spain game. Luis set up the TV and a projector on the top "deck" with a sheet on the wall so we could see it in "big screen". Three of his Spanish friends came and were uncontainable when Spain won.
So there is no shortage of fun things to do.
The house has been full of guests. Some left and more have arrived.
I am going to post this hoping "all beings who read this are happy". Please add comments or write. I wonder what is happening in your lives.
Jean
Temps in the low 100's this week. That works for me and I haven't heard too much grumbling. Women feel happy to get their sundresses and sandals out. Men wear some pretty classy sandals too.
I awoke Thursday morning surprised to find myself standing there! My eyes filled with tears as I said "Hi Jean". It was like the "miracle question" used in therapy sometimes: " You go to bed. The next morning you awake and everything has changed. Things are better. How will you know that there was a miracle that night. What will be diferent?" Not quite like that but close. I felt well for the first time in weeks. Yahoo! Stressed, discouraged, depressed, demoralized, angry along with some physical stuff...gone.
This particular job, in this particular project, has been and will continue to be very difficult. We've just finished a 7 day training in counseling orchestrated by Paris. It was intense with long days going from 8:30 to 6:30 or 7. That's been part of the stress but also will be part of the solution. I've felt like Sisyphus with his rock. The training showed the staff what counseling IS and what we are wanting them to be doing. Whew! Lights went on for a few of them. They had lots of role plays for practice. It'll still be an uphill battle but at least we have a ledge now and the rock may not roll all the way back down. Unfortunately the older ones with 20 to 30 years in the psych field were the ones who didn't get it very well. And sadly they thought they did. Alas. Talk circulates about letting them go. Alas again. Team would be stronger but geeez. Unfortunately these folks went to school 30 to 40 years ago and don't have the advantage of conferences and such to keep updated. So they are in the old mold of: wear a lab coat, have a desk between you and the patient, remember to keep a professional distance, work with the psyche rather than the here and now, confront the patient and tell them what to do to solve the problem. So the "doctor" remains the primary person in the room. Of course we were trying to flip that to a patient centered approach. Alas again.
The other big work issue the past 2 weeks is that we DID let someone go. She was told the day before the training that she wasn't going and that her contract was not being renewed. Of course all hell broke loose there. She was totally undone, in denial, bargaining, etc. Long story I won't go in to it here. Her replacement was hired the same day and wee did a handover yesterday. Very awkward stuff. Too much drama and very time consuming.
So 5 weeks remain. There is still way too much to do but I feel like I have a focus at least.
On to more fun stuff. I've moved the computer to one of the decks so am now seeing Mt Ararat on one side and the city buildings on the other. It's noisy but cool. LOVE the netbook!
There's a summer weather thing in Yerevan that brings strong winds every evening. They are quite lovely actually and I slip into sleep easily.
There's been no shortage of entertainment activities this past two weesk. Sunday was a trip to Garni and a hike in the Garni Gorge. Very beautiful place. I am still having trouble downloading pics but recommend looking it up on-line. Basalt columns that are spectacular. We went with an MSF car that was taking some of the trainees on a tour the n ventured off on our own. While walking by the river on a dirt road an old blue dump truck came along. The driver was lost and looking for directions. Ha!We were friendly but no help as we didn't know where we were exactly either. Later that afternoon we were back in Garni and looking for the martchuka station for Yerevan and he passed us. He pulled over and offered us a ride. So we climbed up into the front seat which easily held four people and lumbered on. Very nice man. He stopped along the way to help another traveler who was out of gas and siphoned some of his off. We managed to communicate enough to learn where he was from, what he did for a living, and how many children he had using sign language. He dropped us near the metro, refusing any gas money of course. I am so impressed with the warmth, friendliness and hospitality of Armenians. They are so welcoming to strangers from other countries. I feel no fear from them and have no fear of them. It's a very safe place to keep getting lost in!
The week before we had been out hiking near Lake Sevan and 2 of us hitched a ride home with a large family in a van. 25 people stuffed in, grannies, babies, etc. My companion was Constance, a young gorgeous French woman which I am sure helped us get the ride! The ride was fun. The hike was not so pleasant but still an adventure. We got a bit lost getting from the road to the lake following locals finger pointing and walked through swamp after swamp up to our calves in oozing black sucking stinking muck. We looked a sight. No leaches or snakes however which was a good thing! Constance is maybe 5 feet tall and was shrieking....mostly "I hate you Luis". And those who know me well know that I am full steam ahead when I see a direction I want to go and will not detour or retreat, so stubbornly led the 4 of us directly through the swamp. Another adventure for the rocking chair stories.
In Yerevan there weere free tickets to a quintet playing Mozart and Shuman. My appreciation of this is coming up. It is so nice to just let go and sit there letting the music play me. The musicians were young, perhaps recent graduates of a music school and VERY good. This week was La Traviata at the opera house. Well done in an amingly beautiful setting. The opera was followed by watching the Germany/Spain game. Luis set up the TV and a projector on the top "deck" with a sheet on the wall so we could see it in "big screen". Three of his Spanish friends came and were uncontainable when Spain won.
So there is no shortage of fun things to do.
The house has been full of guests. Some left and more have arrived.
I am going to post this hoping "all beings who read this are happy". Please add comments or write. I wonder what is happening in your lives.
Jean
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bits and pieces
Sorry for the lapse in this but it’s been a shitty couple of weeks, literally. A few IV’s and some antibiotics and I am happily improving. Thought I was headed home there for a while.
Thankfully there are other things to write about. Like birds. There is some kind of bird thing going on. I can’t tell if it’s the swallows coming back to Capastrano phenomenon or the swifts at Chapman school kind of thing…some research needed. Hundreds of little tweeting fork-tailed birds swoop and dive around in the morning and evening. The Armenian name has been translated into sparrow and swallow….by the same person. They look to me like the swifts and build little hanging mud houses where there are perpendicular angles on cement walls. Regardless they are very interesting to watch and apparently are weather predictors. No hawks following them but a few magpies chase them around. Fun to watch regardless.
On other fronts, I spent a week in Vanadzor and Gyumri, two cities in the northern provinces. Lori province, where Vanadzor lies is particularly pretty. Not the city itself, but the country side around it has some spectacular scenery…lots of mountains and rivers and a cool reprieve from the city. This time I took off on a day by myself to the town of Aleverdi to visit a couple of old monasteries. As It turned out I left a little late and only managed to fit one in. So there is reason to return.
Modes of transportation that week varied from taxies and martchukas to local busses and even a tram from Aleverdi across the river to the top of a hill where the monastery was built. Unbelievably the tram cost 70 ARD, the equivalent of about 18 cents! The best ride however was on the back of a 4 wheeler through the woods. We were having a farewell dinner for Oliver at a restaurant way out in the boonies by a little lake. 4 guys were riding around on their 4 wheelers. When I mentioned I’d like a ride one of our drivers set it up….short but a hoot.
Work remains challenging. I am meeting with a fair amount of resistance to change. The shit hit the fan Friday during a meeting held here at the apartment. I was introducing a draft of a new assessment form and blam the plates began to fly (not literally). So a meeting was set for this Tuesday for them to air their grievances, with the previous program changes and with those I am introducing. I actually feel good about that as it’s been simmering. "If you're not rocking the boat you're not rowing". Not sure who said that. In the Marz projects the problems differ. Cliques have formed and some people are being set up to fail by being excluded. Not nice…reminds me of junior high girl stuff. One of my staff has set herself up as the boss and has her fingers in everyone else’s work and the other has been marginalized and isolated. Unfortunately her own behavior aggravates the situation. More fun.
The weekend has been spent watching the World Cup matches…what could be more American than spending Sunday afternoon watching football!
More later. Hope all are well.
Thankfully there are other things to write about. Like birds. There is some kind of bird thing going on. I can’t tell if it’s the swallows coming back to Capastrano phenomenon or the swifts at Chapman school kind of thing…some research needed. Hundreds of little tweeting fork-tailed birds swoop and dive around in the morning and evening. The Armenian name has been translated into sparrow and swallow….by the same person. They look to me like the swifts and build little hanging mud houses where there are perpendicular angles on cement walls. Regardless they are very interesting to watch and apparently are weather predictors. No hawks following them but a few magpies chase them around. Fun to watch regardless.
On other fronts, I spent a week in Vanadzor and Gyumri, two cities in the northern provinces. Lori province, where Vanadzor lies is particularly pretty. Not the city itself, but the country side around it has some spectacular scenery…lots of mountains and rivers and a cool reprieve from the city. This time I took off on a day by myself to the town of Aleverdi to visit a couple of old monasteries. As It turned out I left a little late and only managed to fit one in. So there is reason to return.
Modes of transportation that week varied from taxies and martchukas to local busses and even a tram from Aleverdi across the river to the top of a hill where the monastery was built. Unbelievably the tram cost 70 ARD, the equivalent of about 18 cents! The best ride however was on the back of a 4 wheeler through the woods. We were having a farewell dinner for Oliver at a restaurant way out in the boonies by a little lake. 4 guys were riding around on their 4 wheelers. When I mentioned I’d like a ride one of our drivers set it up….short but a hoot.
Work remains challenging. I am meeting with a fair amount of resistance to change. The shit hit the fan Friday during a meeting held here at the apartment. I was introducing a draft of a new assessment form and blam the plates began to fly (not literally). So a meeting was set for this Tuesday for them to air their grievances, with the previous program changes and with those I am introducing. I actually feel good about that as it’s been simmering. "If you're not rocking the boat you're not rowing". Not sure who said that. In the Marz projects the problems differ. Cliques have formed and some people are being set up to fail by being excluded. Not nice…reminds me of junior high girl stuff. One of my staff has set herself up as the boss and has her fingers in everyone else’s work and the other has been marginalized and isolated. Unfortunately her own behavior aggravates the situation. More fun.
The weekend has been spent watching the World Cup matches…what could be more American than spending Sunday afternoon watching football!
More later. Hope all are well.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Lover's Park, Yervan
Couples sit on benches amongst the trees and waterfalls.
He, oblivious to anything but her.
She looking distracted and bored.
Cafes serve coffee and coke
Families relax and drink in the shade
Lovers ignore them
Young women sit perched on the edges of the bench,
legs crossed,
spiked heels dangling.
Young men sit with arms encircling the waist of the young women.
He nuzzles her neck,
Whispers in her ear.
Her expression says “how long must I endure”?
Perhaps she wants to hang with her girlfriends
or go shopping.
He curries her favor
Looking amorous,
Constantly kissing her cheek or neck
It seems a game,
cat and mouse
Played out by both parties,
The sad part: she seems removed, distant.
He resembles a child,
Angling for mom’s attention
This is not an unknown feeling to me.
This parent child relationship.
It feels cloying
Entrapping
Making me want to scream.
No way out.
The womens faces reflect this old feeling.
They want to be themselves.
Free
He, oblivious to anything but her.
She looking distracted and bored.
Cafes serve coffee and coke
Families relax and drink in the shade
Lovers ignore them
Young women sit perched on the edges of the bench,
legs crossed,
spiked heels dangling.
Young men sit with arms encircling the waist of the young women.
He nuzzles her neck,
Whispers in her ear.
Her expression says “how long must I endure”?
Perhaps she wants to hang with her girlfriends
or go shopping.
He curries her favor
Looking amorous,
Constantly kissing her cheek or neck
It seems a game,
cat and mouse
Played out by both parties,
The sad part: she seems removed, distant.
He resembles a child,
Angling for mom’s attention
This is not an unknown feeling to me.
This parent child relationship.
It feels cloying
Entrapping
Making me want to scream.
No way out.
The womens faces reflect this old feeling.
They want to be themselves.
Free
The Marzes
Overall I am having a lot of fun here. The work is mixed, frustrating at times. The psychologists who are old timers are not responding well to their role as general counselors and social workers....work that people with no higher education but training by MSF can do. So far they don't get it. The new young ones are adapting. Heads may roll. Oh dear. My plate feels full and I have some disagreement with the "powers that be" on how adherence should run. That causes some days to be stones. However there's glitter in others and good people to work with.
Social life is great. Last weekend was two museums in Yerevan and a 12 hour bus tour outside the city seeing various old churches and monasteries and walking a bit. Dinner out Monday when the new Field Co who arrived for the Marz team. Smart Philippine guy, doctor. Unfortunately I ordered a chicken dish from Georgia I used to like...maybe it was sent overland from Georgia.....sans refrigeration. Anyway I got food poisoning. Yuk.
On a more positive note, there is a light show every night in Yerevan at Republic square. Lots of colored fountains and lights choreographed with a rather odd assortment of music...Edith Piaf and Elvis Presley. Very cool anyway and worth staying up for! And going again as the preogram changes.
This week included a field trip to our Marz programs in Vanadzor and Gyumry. WOW, gorgeous up there . It's a 2 to 21/2 hour trip via Lake Sevan and some winding roads through the mountains. I wish I was based there! Vanadzor is the third largest city but quiet with live music to wake up to, lots of birds, roosters etc. Very bucolic. And in the countryside lots of cows and sheep in the fields...and theroad. Lots of new life as the rolling mountains are totally green with fields and trees. The morning sky and the fressness of the air were a tonic. We had one meal at a restaurant built on the hillside with platforms hanging out over the roiling river.
Amazing.
More later.
J
Social life is great. Last weekend was two museums in Yerevan and a 12 hour bus tour outside the city seeing various old churches and monasteries and walking a bit. Dinner out Monday when the new Field Co who arrived for the Marz team. Smart Philippine guy, doctor. Unfortunately I ordered a chicken dish from Georgia I used to like...maybe it was sent overland from Georgia.....sans refrigeration. Anyway I got food poisoning. Yuk.
On a more positive note, there is a light show every night in Yerevan at Republic square. Lots of colored fountains and lights choreographed with a rather odd assortment of music...Edith Piaf and Elvis Presley. Very cool anyway and worth staying up for! And going again as the preogram changes.
This week included a field trip to our Marz programs in Vanadzor and Gyumry. WOW, gorgeous up there . It's a 2 to 21/2 hour trip via Lake Sevan and some winding roads through the mountains. I wish I was based there! Vanadzor is the third largest city but quiet with live music to wake up to, lots of birds, roosters etc. Very bucolic. And in the countryside lots of cows and sheep in the fields...and theroad. Lots of new life as the rolling mountains are totally green with fields and trees. The morning sky and the fressness of the air were a tonic. We had one meal at a restaurant built on the hillside with platforms hanging out over the roiling river.
Amazing.
More later.
J
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